Why You Don't Need a 150-Person Guest List (And What to Do Instead).
Let me tell you something the wedding industry doesn't want you to hear: you don't owe anyone an invitation to your wedding.
Not your parent's coworker who you met once at a holiday party. Not your cousin's girlfriend who you've never spoken to. Not the distant relatives who will show up, eat, and leave without having a real conversation with you.
The idea that weddings need to be big to be meaningful is a lie sold to you by an industry that profits from larger guest counts. More guests means more revenue for venues, caterers, florists, everyone.
But here's what I've seen after years of designing intimate weddings: smaller celebrations aren't settling. They're elevating. They're choosing intention over obligation. They're creating experiences instead of just throwing events.
If you've been feeling guilty about wanting a smaller wedding, this is your permission slip. Here's why intimate weddings are better—and what you gain when you stop inviting people out of obligation.
The Pressure Disappears
Here's a secret about intimate weddings: they don't have to feel like weddings at all.
They can feel like a really elevated dinner party. A sophisticated gathering. A celebration that happens to include vows.
When you strip away the expectations of what a wedding is "supposed" to look and feel like, the pressure evaporates.
Something goes wrong? Laugh it off. The timeline shifts? Adjust. Your ceremony runs shorter than expected? Who cares—you're with the people you love.
Intimate weddings give you permission to focus on the meaning of the day instead of the performance of it. You're not trying to impress anyone. You're not managing egos or worrying about whether Aunt Karen approves of your choices.
You're just there. Present. Grateful. In love.
You'll Actually Remember Your Wedding Day
Ask anyone who had a 200-person wedding, and they'll tell you the same thing: "It was a blur."
They don't remember half the conversations. They barely remember eating. They spent the whole night moving from one obligation to the next—photos, greetings, speeches, dances, cake cutting—and by the end, they were exhausted.
With an intimate wedding, you remember.
You remember the look on your partner's face when you walked down the aisle. You remember your best friend's toast. You remember dancing with your dad. You remember the conversations, the laughter, the moments that mattered.
Your guests feel it too. They're not waiting in line to say congratulations or competing for your attention. They feel included, valued, like they're part of something special—not just attendees at an event.
You Get to Actually Spend Time With the People Who Matter
When you invite 150+ people to your wedding, you become a hostess, not a bride.
You're table-hopping through dinner, trying to greet everyone, take photos with distant relatives, make small talk with people you barely know. By the end of the night, your feet hurt, your voice is hoarse, and you realize you barely spoke to your best friends.
This is not what you signed up for.
When you keep your guest list intimate—under 75 people, ideally—something magical happens: you actually get to be at your wedding.
You have real conversations. You share meaningful moments. You look around the room and see only faces you love, people who know your story, who've been part of your journey as a couple.
Your vows land differently when you're surrounded by people who've watched your relationship grow. The toasts are more personal. The energy is more connected. You're not performing for a crowd—you're celebrating with your people.
And at the end of the night, you'll remember it. Not as a blur of faces and handshakes, but as an experience you were actually present for.
You Get to Actually Spend Time With the People Who Matter
When you invite 150+ people to your wedding, you become a hostess, not a bride.
You're table-hopping through dinner, trying to greet everyone, take photos with distant relatives, make small talk with people you barely know. By the end of the night, your feet hurt, your voice is hoarse, and you realize you barely spoke to your best friends.
This is not what you signed up for.
When you keep your guest list intimate—under 75 people, ideally—something magical happens: you actually get to be at your wedding.
You have real conversations. You share meaningful moments. You look around the room and see only faces you love, people who know your story, who've been part of your journey as a couple.
Your vows land differently when you're surrounded by people who've watched your relationship grow. The toasts are more personal. The energy is more connected. You're not performing for a crowd—you're celebrating with your people.
And at the end of the night, you'll remember it. Not as a blur of faces and handshakes, but as an experience you were actually present for.
You Don't Have to Follow the Traditional Wedding Script
Big weddings come with expectations. The venue coordinator wants you to follow their standard timeline. Your caterer has a set menu. Your photographer has a shot list. Everything is templated, packaged, predictable.
Intimate weddings give you freedom.
Want to skip the bouquet toss? Do it. Want to serve family-style dinner instead of plated courses? Perfect. Want to get married at the spot where you first met instead of a traditional venue? Let's make it happen.
Want to shorten the timeline and skip cocktail hour entirely? Want pie instead of cake? Want to wear a suit instead of a dress? Want your dog to walk down the aisle? Want to read your vows privately before the ceremony instead of in front of everyone?
All of this becomes possible when you're not trying to manage the expectations and logistics of 150+ people.
Intimate weddings let you do what matters to you, not what the wedding industry says you're supposed to do.
You can simplify the day-of timeline. You can eliminate traditions that don't resonate. You can build the day around your actual relationship instead of forcing your relationship into a wedding template.
Your Wedding Becomes Memorable (Not Just Nice)
I've been to a lot of weddings. The ones I remember aren't the biggest or most expensive. They're the ones that felt personal.
The couple who served their favorite late-night snack (lobster rolls) at midnight. The ceremony where their kids delivered the vows. The reception in a private dining room where every table setting told a story. The dance floor that felt more like a house party than a formal event.
These moments happen when you have room to breathe. When you're not trying to orchestrate a massive production. When you can invest in the details that actually mean something instead of just filling space.
With a smaller guest count, your budget stretches further. You can splurge on things that create atmosphere—luxurious linens, abundant candlelight, a private chef, a killer playlist curated by a DJ who actually understands your vibe.
You can incorporate heirlooms, travel photos, handwritten notes, sentimental touches that would get lost in a ballroom filled with 200 people.
Your guests will remember your wedding because it felt like you—not because it was big, but because it was intentional.
The Truth About Intimate Weddings
I'll be honest: intimate weddings aren't for everyone. If you genuinely want to celebrate with 150+ people and have the budget and energy to pull it off, do it. There's no wrong choice here.
But if you're only inviting that many people because you think you're supposed to, or because you're afraid of hurting feelings, or because "that's just what people do," I'm here to tell you: you have another option.
You can choose intimacy over obligation. You can choose presence over performance. You can choose a wedding that feels like you—moody, romantic, deeply personal—instead of one that looks like everyone else's.
Intimate weddings aren't about doing less. They're about doing what matters more.
Ready to plan an intimate, intentional celebration that feels entirely yours?
